Finding Your True North: The Art of Beginning Where You Are

You've learned to recognize the whispers—that knot in your stomach, the Sunday night anxiety, the hollow feeling after achieving something you worked so hard for. You've started to identify the invisible barriers that keep you from fully listening to what your body and mind are trying to tell you. But now what?

This is where many women find themselves after developing awareness of their transition signals. They know something needs to shift, but they're spinning in circles, making change after change—switching jobs, ending relationships, moving to new cities, starting new routines—without finding the deeper transformation they're seeking.

The missing piece isn't more willpower or better strategies. It's establishing your authentic starting point.

Your Personal GPS

Think about the last time you used GPS navigation. Before it could guide you anywhere, it had to establish one crucial piece of information— your current location. Without accurate coordinates for where you are right now, even the most sophisticated navigation system becomes useless.

The same principle applies to life transitions. We can't create meaningful change without first establishing an honest picture of where we actually are—not where we think we should be, not where we wish we were, but where we truly stand right now.

I think of Rebecca, one of my clients who was a marketing executive and spent two years jumping from opportunity to opportunity, always feeling like she was moving but never arriving anywhere meaningful. She'd left one corporate job for another, tried freelancing, considered going back to school, and even explored starting her own business. Each change felt promising at first, but the familiar sense of emptiness always returned.

"I keep making changes, but they never feel like they truly fit who I am," she told me during our first session. "Each one gives me temporary relief or excitement, but it always fades. I feel like I'm running in circles."

The breakthrough came when Rebecca stopped trying to "fix" her situation and started to honestly map where she actually was. Not just professionally, but across all dimensions of her life—her relationships, her values, her finances, her health, her dreams, and yes, her fears too.

Beyond the Surface Story

Establishing your authentic starting point isn't about listing your job title, relationship status, and where you live. It's about recognizing the deeper patterns that shape your experience.

Rebecca discovered that beneath all her career moves was a consistent pattern— she was repeatedly trying to find external validation for an internal sense of worth. Each new opportunity promised to finally prove she was successful, valuable, worthy of respect. But no external achievement could fill an internal void.

This is the difference between temporary circumstances and persistent patterns. Circumstances are the what—your current job, living situation, financial status. Patterns are the why—the underlying motivations, fears, and unconscious drivers that shape your choices. Your authentic starting point includes both. It's the complete picture of not just what's happening in your life, but how you're showing up in it.

The Relief and Courage of Honest Self-Reflection

One of the most pivotal moments in coaching happens when a client stops trying to present a polished version of their life and simply names what's actually true for them right now.

"I'm successful on paper, but I feel empty inside.”

"I love my family, but I've lost myself in taking care of everyone else.”

"I'm afraid that if I change anything, I'll lose what I've worked so hard to build."

"I don't even know what I want anymore."

There can be immense relief in naming reality without trying to fix it immediately. When you stop using your energy to maintain a facade or judge yourself for where you are, that energy becomes available for learning about what matters most to you and ultimately changing the direction of your life.

This kind of honest acknowledgment requires compassionate self-honesty—seeing yourself and your situation without judgment or the fantasy of who you think you should be. This isn't about harsh self-criticism. It's about curiosity that creates choice.

When Sarah first came to me, her eldest child had just left for college. For years, her identity had been deeply intertwined with her role as a mother. She felt lost, purposeless, unsure of who she was beyond that role.

Her authentic starting point wasn't just "empty nest syndrome." It was recognizing that she had been living primarily for others for so long that she'd lost touch with her own desires, interests, and dreams. She was facing the grief of lost years living someone else's life, while simultaneously feeling guilty for wanting something different.

Only by honestly acknowledging all of this—the loss, the guilt, the fear, and the quiet excitement about possibilities—could she begin to intentionally create her next chapter.

Your authentic starting point isn't a problem to be solved—it's just your current coordinates.

Your Internal Navigation System

Here's what I've learned from working with women in transition— you already have everything you need to navigate this journey. Your body signals discomfort when you're out of alignment. Your mind recognizes when something feels off. Your heart knows what brings you alive.

The challenge isn't that this internal navigation system doesn't exist—it's that we've been taught to ignore it in favor of external metrics and others' expectations.

Your authentic starting point includes reclaiming trust in your own inner wisdom. It means recognizing that your restlessness isn't a character flaw to be managed—it's information about unexpressed potential. Your anxiety isn't necessarily something to medicate away—it might be pointing toward values misalignment. Your longing for something different isn't selfish—it's your authentic self asking to be honored.

The Foundation for Real Change

Once you establish your authentic starting point, something remarkable happens— change becomes less about forcing yourself into a different shape and more about allowing yourself to unfold into who you're naturally becoming.

Instead of circular transitions that repeat old patterns, you can make choices that honor both where you are and where you're growing. Instead of solutions that address symptoms, you can work with root causes. Instead of fantasy planning, you can create realistic strategies that account for your actual starting coordinates.

Rebecca's story illustrates this beautifully. Once she recognized her pattern of seeking external validation, she could make different choices. Instead of leaving her current job immediately, she began small experiments in trusting her own judgment. She started saying no to projects that didn't align with her values. She began speaking up in meetings when she had something meaningful to contribute, rather than performing what she thought others wanted to hear.

These weren't dramatic changes, but they were deeply authentic ones. And because they honored her authentic starting point, they created sustainable momentum toward the life she actually wanted.

Starting Where You Are

Your authentic starting point isn't perfect. It doesn't need to be. It just needs to be true.

Maybe you're successful on paper but feel empty inside. Maybe you're at a crossroads and don't know which direction to choose. Maybe you're carrying grief for the life you thought you'd have by now. Maybe you're tired of pretending everything is fine when it's not.

Whatever your starting point, it's not a mistake. It's not a sign that you've failed or chosen wrong. It's simply where you are—and where you are is the only place from which you can begin to move consciously toward where you want to be.

The whispers from your body and mind aren't going away. They're not meant to. They're your internal compass, pointing you toward what matters most. But to follow that compass effectively, you first need to know exactly where you're standing.

Are you ready to establish your authentic starting point? Sometimes the most transformative journey begins with the simple courage to see clearly where you are right now.

I currently have openings in my 1:1 coaching practice. Working together provides a safe space to honestly explore your authentic starting point and create a foundation for meaningful change. Curious to learn more? A free Discovery Call is available to see if the fit feels right.